Why You’d Be Miserable If Someone Gave You Everything You’ve Ever Wanted

“External rewards are fleeting and unfulfilling. They’re fun, sure, but they are not the end goal — not by a long shot.” –Nicolas Cole

I plan on living a remarkable and extraordinary life. I plan on writing multiple bestselling books, traveling to every single country on this planet, having an abundance of amazing relationships, and so much more.

The part I’m most excited about? The fact that I have no idea if any of it will even happen.

The saying goes, If it’s to be, it’s up to me” and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

In fact, if someone were to magically give me everything I’ve ever wanted, I’d probably be miserable.

Here’s why.

All Rewards Come from the Process, Not the Results

After you become a millionaire, you can give all of your money away because what’s important is not the million dollars; what’s important is the person you have become in the process of becoming a millionaire.” -Jim Rohn

Personally, I’m most happy when I’m writing, not when the numbers are ticking over.

I remember surpassing 1,000 followers on here and I barely flinched.

Medium recently sent me $500 for the earnings from my stories last month, and I felt nothing.

It’s not that I’m not grateful for any of these achievements, it’s simply that results are never enough.

We tell ourselves we want more success, fame, and happiness, but what we really want is to be the best version of ourselvesand the reason we’re never satisfied is that there’s no limit on how good you can become.

Put another way by Bestselling author, Jeff Goins,

We don’t want success. We want growth. And those are two very different things.”

All the rewards come from the process, not the results. While the results aren’t something you can control, you have all authority over the process, and you get to determine how good you become.

Character is Developed in the Struggle, Not at Victory

Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.” -Arnold Schwarzenegger

Most people see a struggle, or a obstacle and they want to quit. Despite wanting the wanting the rewards, they aren’t willing to pay the costs.

But if someone could magically give you everything you’d ever wanted, it’d actually be incredibly boring. It would be like starting a movie and then skipping till the end; you’d miss all the best parts.

You’d miss the Character development, you’d miss the action, you’d miss all the suspense and excitement. The only thing you’d be left with is the thought of wondering “Is that all there is?”

It’s in the toughest of times that we truly find ourselves and feel most alive. As Ryan Holiday once wrote,

“The extent of the struggle determines the extent of the growth.”

Don’t wish for an effortless way to win success. Find something you truly enjoy that will make the hardship worthwhile because if it were easy, everyone else would be doing it.

In Conclusion

“I hope everybody gets rich and famous and will have everything they ever dreamed of so they will know it’s not the answer” -Jim Carrey

While everyone thinks they’ll be happier when they obtain more wealth, success and fame. Realize that you’ll only ever be as happy as you decide to be.

If you don’t appreciate what you already have, you’ll never be happy with what you get.

All rewards are found in the process, not the results. Focus on getting better, not achieving more fame or accolades.

You’ll find yourself and see what you’re truly capable of in your darkest struggles, not at your greatest victories.

If what you are trying to achieve in life is not worth the pain, maybe you don’t even want it in the first place.