“We are kept from our goal not by obstacles, but by a clearer path to a lesser goal.” -Robert Brault
There are things in your environment that no longer serve you. There are commitments on your calendar and habits in your life that stop you from having the life you really want.
You know it, we all know it. The question is: Why have you not let go of what you have for what you could have?
Why are you still hanging tightly to all that you have while knowing that it is the very thing stopping you from getting what you truly want?
In order to go to the next level, you will need to let it all go. You will need to free yourself from the things that you even once loved but now no longer serve you.
Said Benjamin P. Hardy,
“If you’re truly committed to something, you will shape the circumstances which support your commitment. You’ll let go of even things you once loved, which contradict the ambitions you truly want.”
This article is about doing just that.
Here we go.
Why Is It so Hard to Let Go?
According to economics sunk cost fallacy, when you’re invested or have ownership of something, you tend to overvalue that something.
Because your identity has become wrapped up around that thing, you actually become irrational about it. You’re no longer thinking about what you could gain. Instead, you’re entirely focused on what you could lose.
For example, people often remain in terrible relationships simply because they’ve got a lot of past in those relationships.
Rather than thinking about how their lives could be better without those relationships, they simply think about how their lives could be worse.
Equally, people will continue pouring money into a business even though it’s clearly on a downward spiral.
It’s not logical or rational, instead, it’s purely emotional. Hence, the solution is not more reason or logic, but actually changing your emotions. Not just suppressing them, but purely changing them.
You need to want the excitement and possibility of your future more than you want the stability of your past.
As Bill Walsh has said, “If your WHY is strong enough you will figure out HOW!”
Similarly, Benjamin P. Hardy once wrote,
“If you have willpower in your life, it means you’re still battling your old self, and you haven’t made a true decision about what you are and what you’re about.”
Once you’re truly committed to your dreams, you no longer question if you’re going to do the right thing. Instead, you just do it. Hence, 100% commitment is easier than 98% commitment.
Removal Immediately Leads to Confidence
“Nothing creates more stress than when our actions and behaviors aren’t congruent with our values.” -Darren Hardy
Once you stop acting contrary to your deepest held values and beliefs, you’ll no longer be internally conflicted. You won’t be battling your old self.
Instead, you’ll be at peace. You’ll be congruent. You’ll know you have nothing to worry about because you’ll be living in alignment.
As a result, your confidence will immediately soar. You’ll have seen yourself do the right thing which will make it increasingly easier to do the right thing.
As Alex Charfen has said,
“We are momentum-based beings.”
Confidence does not come from doing the wrong thing but doing the right thing. It comes from living in alignment with your ideal.
The more you organize your life and behavior to match your ideal future, the more confidence you’ll have.
Hence, each living moment is a chance to either increase or decrease your confidence. Whichever you choose will immediately begin working for or against you.
The first step of going to the next level is generally removal.
You need to get rid of stuff. You need to get rid of all that no longer serves you. That might include relationships, habits, possessions or whatever else is holding you back.
Of course, it may not be easy. However, once you do, you’ll immediately have a new surge of confidence; you’ll no longer just be thinking about changing your life, but actually be taking steps in the right direction.
You’ll have skin the game.
You’ll begin to see yourself as who you intend to be.
So, what must you give up for what you could have?